Thoughts from the Negev

In honor of the anniversary of our tenth year of marriage, I awoke this morning feeling peculiarly compelled to write down the the top ten things I’ve learned in my first ten years of marriage.  I am sure you could add many things— feel free! These are just things I have learned, personally. Whether you’re single and looking toward marriage or been married ten times longer than I,  I believe these will be beneficial to read. My hope is that they will make you think and maybe smile. But most of all, that they will inspire you to hang in there and make your marriage last, against all odds. 

The Top Ten Things I’ve learned in my First Ten Years of Marriage…..

1. You gotta LAUGH a lot : We are funny creatures– we all do the dumbest things sometimes. Don’t take stuff so seriously all the time. Laugh it off. It’s good medicine. 

2. You gotta LET THINGS GO: There  is always something hurtful that was said or done in the past. You may think you are 100% in the right, and you may very well be. Let it GO… and don’t ever bring it up again. 

3. DO THINGS YOUR SPOUSE LIKES: Yeah. You know what they like… and you probably hate the thought of doing them. Get over yourself!! Surprise each other regularly. 

4. Work every day on getting BALANCED AND HEALTHY: Physically, emotionally, spiritually and (ladies especially) hormonally. 

5. BE TRANSPARENT: Don’t lie to each other! Pretty basic. Instead, purpose to tell each other everything from now on. 

6. Develop your TRUST in Someone (capitalization in the word “Someone” intended) OTHER THAN your SPOUSE: He /she is only human and cannot possibly fulfill all our needs. Your Creator knows your innermost parts, your every thought, your every word before you say it. Talk to Him. He is listening. 

7. GIVE: Give some of what you have to someone who needs it everyday…. your time, your money, your things, your talents… make it a lifestyle. You won’t believe how this makes things better. 

8. LET IT ROLL! The Holy Scriptures have some very wise words — you should read them if you haven’t yet, and read them again if you have. One of my favorite Proverbs says “Blessed is the man who overlooks an offense”. (yes, I know it says “man” lol. But I’m pretty sure that includes the ladies too). Seriously though, I think sometimes we look for things to be offended by. Stop that! Let it roll… right off your back. Move on. Forgive and forget. 

9. GET AWAY together. If you can afford it,  make a habit of going away together for a few days every once in a while. If not,  it can be as simple as taking a walk or a drive.  But make a habit of getting away from the hustle and bustle of life to spend some quality time together… Look at each other in the eyes and TALK.

10. Last, but definitely not least—TILL DEATH DO US PART: This phrase is top, among some of most powerful phrases ever written or said. And most  of us promised each other these very words on that blessed day, way back when. How quickly we forget!
When did it become okay to break our promises, no less one so very powerful? Remind yourself daily of these words and hang in there. Don’t take the easy path just ’cause everyone else is. It’s worth the work! 

*If this blessed you, please feel free to pass it on :) If you wanna chat about it, visit my website* www.rivkawhitten.com

I don’t know about you but I am often tempted to use people’s shortcomings (or even my own) as an excuse to doubt G-d’s existence and faithfulness. Then I realize how silly of me that is. #peoplewillfailusbutGdneverwill 
~Thoughts from the Negev

Control breeds rebellion and unconditional love eradicates it. That may sound obvious to you but it just hit me in a certain way tonight. Help me Lord, to be balanced as I raise up my kids to OBEY, yet give them the FREEDOM to make the choices they can and love and support them through it all. It is no small thing to be a parent– gotta pray for wisdom every day. ~Thoughts from the Negev

I can’t see the cold wind, but I sure felt it’s rigid sting when I walked out the door today. I can’t see the G-d of creation, but I feel His love and see His work deep in me. Look deeper. Open the eyes of your heart. Jeremiah 29:13~ You will seek me and find me when you seek Me with all your heart.

Who of us knows the plan of the Master Weaver? We are all woven into the tapestry, but we only see it from the frayed underside. He sees the beautiful pattern above.

Your world might be crashing in on you today. Money, marriage, work, family and everything else. But I want to tell you — do not lose hope! Things often get their worst, just when victory is around the corner! Turn this thing around today! Take some time alone and ask G-d if there is any way you have grieved Him. Then go to the people that are closest to you and do the same. G-d loves a humble and contrite heart and He looks for those who will humble themselves before Him and those who are the hardest to please.

We are living in times that the great men and women of the Bible could only wish to take part in. And He obviously thought that you should be here for such a time as this! Do not let the evil one get you all flustered. Do the right thing. Go humbly to everyone you can think of that you have grieved, especially the Lord. For not trusting Him above anyone/thing else. We have authority over the powers of darkness! But we need to be walking wholeheartedly with Him. I love you. Be strong in Him. Xoxo

Mmmmmmmmmm. Something else yummy I can’t have. *Sigh* Will love handles ever be trendy?

Live and help others live. Serve and help others serve. Just that simple. ~Thoughts from the Negev :)

Why do we always have to act like everything is perfect? We act like we’re doing great all the time and that we’re not struggling with anything. That just is not reality. It’s OKAY to have struggles people! All of us have them! And we need to be able to be transparent before one another without being judged. Mercy triumphs over judgment. Let’s stop being so judgmental —- and start getting open, honest, REAL.
~Thoughts from the Negev :)

 “Gmar chatima tova” we say, literally meaning, “a good ending” or “may your name be inscribed in the book of life.” This the phrase with which Jewish friends, family and even total strangers greet each other at this time each year. 
So… can we talk about this? I cannot understand how we can be so selfish all year long, thinking mostly of of our own desires (as opposed to His) and then without a second thought, bid eachother “gmar chatima tova”. 
Having a good ending, being written in the Book of Life — do these things just happen because we’re “Jewish”? Or we’re “good people”?  Or because we keep the traditions our parents and grandparents always did? 
Seeeeeeek Him. Be STILL before Him. Allow Him to speak, direct our lives, show us His TRUTH. #mayeachofournamesbeinscribedinHisbook. ~Thoughts from the Negev.